rosevalleygERL

make like a tree and leaf

September 4, 2012 Don't Quote Me On That

All Apologies

This isn’t a relationship blog.  Have I mentioned that before?  Yet somehow I talk about my relationships because, in fact, they have defined much of my adult life.

I had an unfortunate experience a few years ago with a man that left me wanting an apology.  We had a brief fling and for a variety of reasons neither of us were at a good point to pursue a relationship.  Due to poor communication (on his part) it ended very awkwardly.  As we were part of a larger group of friends, he having a more established presence in the group, I was ostracized which ruined a good portion of my social experiences during that time.  Being the mature party, several months later I approached him expressing my feelings (that, despite my better judgement were still present) and looking for answers as to what had happened.  My bravery and honesty were met with hostility and accusations and the realization that he had been propagating rumors about me, hence my ousting from the group.  I left that interaction feeling very low and frankly untrusting of many of the involved parties.

Time has passed and most of the wounds have healed but due to social obligations I see him from time to time.  Things have become less awkward only because I’ve put on the brave face and in some respects he’s found someone that I hope, has helped him on the path to becoming a better person.

I’m now happily involved and living a few hours removed but still, it bothers me to this day that I didn’t receive and apology from him – for how he treated me and for what he did to my reputation.  I didn’t realize how much I had been wanting one until I found myself explaining this to my other.  Of course, with any realization comes the weird phenomenon of seeing them everywhere (in this case on Facebook – a.k.a. the Social Devil).  Of course, it is only fitting that on Facebook I received the answer I was looking for in the form of a post made by a cousin.

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” – Robert Brault.

He’ll never apologize to me.  He isn’t that brave or self-aware and I have so many more things worth my time and energy.  Unsubscribed and happily better off for it.  Next!