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make like a tree and leaf

November 27, 2014 Life Happens ,

Don’t Forget the Stuffing

Of all the dishes being enjoying this Thanksgiving, there’s one in particular that I have little love for: stuffing.  Being that I am a celiac, for obvious reasons, I am at odds with this dish.  Beyond that, I am a texture eater and have always found that steaming mound of mushy bread on my plate unappealing.  Even the process of how it’s made is off-putting to me.  Bread, onions, celery, stock and spices (keepin’ it basic b*tch) are stuffed in what would be the rear end of a turkey carcass.  This serves as a sauna for said mixture, so that the marrow, liquefied fat and connective tissues don’t go to waste.  Yum.

In conjunction with the consumption (or avoidance) of stuffing are the holidays that seemingly call for it.  For better or worse, the holidays come with family. Those you are related to and those you consider as such, shared DNA mattering not.  From an outsider’s perspective I’ve watched my brother and his wife struggle each year with the holidays, their blended family, and in specific, arrangements needing to be made with regards to his daughter.  I know his situation is not unique as I have heard much from friends who find themselves in similar situations and have seen some rather disappointing things play out via social media (damned you).  It is always frustrating and hurtful for the adults involved but no one suffers more than the children used as ropes in a very real game of tug-o-war.  I say little when these unhappy situations play out as I am a childless, unmarried woman in her mid-thirties from a traditional nuclear family – what would I know?  Yet, my deeply logical self turns to my deeply compassionate self and says wtf is wrong with these supposed adults and their seemingly childish games?

Why, you  ask, am I talking about stuffing and blended families?  Because, this year, I had my own small taste of what being part of a blended family is like and realized the former is a perfect metaphor for the latter.

  • Everyone has their own unique recipe for stuffing and all blended families are unique.
  • As a child in a blended family, you swear to do everything different when you are an adult.  Yet, when you become an adult, you realize it was the original recipe that simply needed improving.
  • People have a love/hate relationship with stuffing, and the same could be said of blended family members.
  • Great stuffing and wonderful holiday childhood memories require the same ingredient: nostalgia.
  • You cannot take either family or stuffing out of the holidays…ever tried and seemingly ever failed people.
  • Plans for whom has who and when, will change last minute (especially during the holidays).  However, extra plates, chairs and stuffing will always be found.
  • Indoor pets of the dog persuasion tend to feel the same way about children and stuffing, the more the merrier.

DNA does not a family make, love does.

Happy Thanksgiving!