rosevalleygERL

make like a tree and leaf

POF Chronicles – We didn’t start the fire.

Well Lt. Firefighter not to be all puntastic but there were embers and they were smoldering but somehow, one of us thought the other was out looking for firewood and they simply went out.

Maybe it was my needling you about your age or the fact that I was rather high energy and you had worked your tail off for three days in a row saving lives and doing what most of us are not equipped to do and were simply tired.  But as a man of your word, if you said there’d be a second date, follow through.  Don’t be surprised when I look for the same level of communication that you started off with in anticipation of a second date, and seem confused at complete radio silence on your end.

My father always said that your word is all you ever really have; you are born with it and you die with it, and its integrity is entirely in your hands.  If you say your going to do something, do it. Otherwise, don’t bother talking because eventually, no one will listen.

 

 July 23, 2014 Dating Games ,

POF Chronicles – The curious case of feminine products in the bathroom.

I’m taking a crack at online dating again and I’m still mulling over whether or not this suits my personality.

My profile is pretty hilarious, rife with my long-winded rants (because why not) and some goofy pictures to boot.  I’ve had to block a few oddballs (who hasn’t) and I’ve gone out on a few unmemorable dates (one of which found me waiting for a half hour before the short angry man showed up).  Why am I putting myself through this you ask?  Because, for once, I want something uncomplicated and fun.  I want to sit across from a near complete stranger and get to know them over a drink or plate of food and not argue about shared bills and the many minute irritations of cohabitation.

A conversation was had with the one man I’ve seen a few times now regarding intimacy and our personal experiences. Being that we’d made dinner for one another, he’d seen the inside of my apartment. He has been privy to my somewhat unorganized, not fully unpacked self. There was a point in our conversation in which he mentioned that (due to the existence of) certain items in my bathroom were seemingly contradictory to my narrative. I’ve had the chance to see where he lays his head at night, a room in a housing share.  I’ve made no assumptions, nor will I ever about him as a person and the make up of his character based on this. His truth is what he’s choosing to share with me and I accept this at face value.

To the men of planet Earth, yes you.  May I make a small suggestion?  If you don’t know, ask. And never, never ever, never ever ever assume because it makes an ass out of you and trust me when I say this, you don’t need help in that department.

 July 17, 2014 Dating Games ,

The Friend Zone

Oh the dreaded friend zone…something I’d heard about, seen people living in and watched countless romantic comedies make money from.  How did I end up here?  Well, that is a post too lengthy to write.

After a long evening of watching a group of men in their late twenties vie for my friend’s affection the evening was wrapping up.  Back at a house, people were arranging for rides home or preparing to crash on couches…the most important part is my friend and I were happily climbing into our vehicle to put the long (and at many points fun) evening to bed.  A sweet but drunk member of the party came up to me to affirm his affections for me, that we should be friends, “like platonic friends”.  *Ouch*

Trust me when I say that I am okay with this.  This group of people isn’t for dating but rather for experiencing a slice of Portland’s nightlife, people to BBQ or go bowling or floating with.  The sting comes from the fact that I’d never been so firmly planted in the friend zone before.  More often than not I manage to get there on my own by being a bit too enthusiastically affectionate.  My life is a series of misunderstandings…I’m literally lost in translation at times.

A silver lining…it is good to know that at 35 there are still firsts to be had.

 June 11, 2014 Born This Way, Love It Or Leave It ,

Bitter is the New Black

Dear Bitterness,

We have a love/hate relationship don’t we?  You thought to creep into my thoughts this weekend and on such a lovely Saturday…rude.

Yes, I get it.  It was deeply ironic that HE was practicing the music that he’d be playing at a friend’s wedding in a few short months.  That we’re a few weeks away from living  separately due to the fact that his music needs to be his first love and because I need to put myself first if the person I’m with wont.  You’ve made your point.

Let’s make a deal, I’ll wear my black and we’ll part ways.

Cordially,

Eleanor

 June 2, 2014 Love It Or Leave It ,

Long Time Traveller

The Wailin’ Jennys – Long Time Traveller

These fleeting charms of earth
Farewell, your springs of joy are dry
My soul now seeks another home
A brighter world on high

I’m a long time travelling here below
I’m a long time travelling away from home
I’m a long time travelling here below
To lay this body down

Farewell kind friends whose tender care
Has long engaged my love
Your fond embrace I now exchange
For better friends above

I’m a long time travelling here below
I’m a long time travelling away from home
I’m a long time travelling here below
To lay this body down…

 May 26, 2014 Music for the Soul

BBQs & Hunger Games

Extended family was in town a few weekends ago and I found myself at the Murray family compound celebrating my sister-in-law’s birthday.  It was a welcome sight, driving up the gravel drive and seeing a fire in the fire pit, families gathered here and there, laughing, and children running around at play on the wide expanse of a lawn.  It is something I don’t always see and often Little D and I comment on the reality of the nieces and nephew zoned out in front of a television, on their phones or engrossed in their portable video games.

Great food and beverages were had by all (and me with my gluten-free hot dog buns eyeing the pasta salads and wishing I could partake).  It was nice to see how happy my brother was at the helm of the BBQ surrounded by his friends, and the big smile my sister-in-law had while in the kitchen, taking a birthday shot of fireball (the smile was there pre-shot mind you).  It wasn’t so long ago that my father stood where my brother stood, and my mother was in the kitchen making margaritas.

My favorite moment of the evening?  My sister-in-law spied from her vantage point on the deck that the children were down by the fire pit, having captured their intended, playing Hunger Games.  I saw her walk to the rail and yell, “No, we don’t tie people up!”  And there they were, by one of the posts of my mother’s grape vines, tying someone up, faces flush and triumphant. Commenting on this during the drive back to Portland, post-event, Little D’s mentioned she’d seen them dragging another child across the lawn with the same rope.

A little of Lord of the Flies, a dash of the The Cowboys, a good measure of The Hunger Games and you have the perfect recipe for children at play.

 May 10, 2014 Remember When ,

I Will Be There

Odessa – I Will Be There

If you ever need someone to cry to
If you ever need someone to hold you

I will be there
Standing by your side
I will be there
Standing by your side

If you ever need someone
To just love you
If you ever need someone
To simply adore you

I will be there
Standing by your side
I will be there
Standing by your side

From the mountains to the sea
And the city
From the valleys to the moon
In every country

I will be there
Standing beside you
I will be there
Standing by your side

I will be there

 April 7, 2014 Music for the Soul

Conscious Uncoupling

I’ve been dating a man for two-and-a-half years. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs and he and I have come to the conclusion that we should not be a couple at this point in our individual lives. We’ve accepted that we should have ended that aspect of our relationship much earlier than we are and yet, we get along famously. And yet, we still love one another. And yet, we’re still the first people we think of to talk to. And yet, we still live together. And yet, we have a dog that he and I very much consider ourselves the parents of. When faced with a situation like this, what does one do?

Yes, I was one of the eye-rollers flinging judgement left and right when I first read the statement that Gwen, Chris & Co. put out via her GOOP website regarding their separation. Once I dismounted (gracefully mind you) my high horse, I realized that this is a phrase I would use, the best phrase I could use, to describe what I’m currently experiencing. What if we all approached a break up with the same measured care we first used when entering the relationship? What if we could all consciously uncouple?

Having survived a number of break ups (some more bitter and damaging than others), the idea that a chapter or book of one’s life could be closed with a uncomplicated and rather loving epilogue is both hopeful and relieving at the same time. I hope that the next relationship (as I always do) will need a library to contain its story and I’m relived that if it doesn’t (which is always possible) that it will have an ending worth experiencing.

 April 3, 2014 Love It Or Leave It

The Scarlet Letter, What Ifs & Glass Slippers

I’ve always loved the book The Scarlet Letter. I identify with Hester but not for the reasons you think. She bore the shame in the shape of a scarlet A for carrying the child of a man who was not her assumed dead husband (adulteress hisssssssss). My burden would be a scarlet H, for honesty (comma brutal). I wear it as I approach my 35th birthday, at weddings with no +1, at family events and in my day to day life where I see the things I want oh so badly, but (for the moment) cannot and should not have.

A strange series of text messages and Facebook chats lead to a dismissal in the form of a voice mail message last night that served as a sharp reminder of the shame I bear in being able to see through the bullshit of others. A silent witness to a future train wreck where I told you so comes in the form of my absence. Be comforted that this incident affirmed my cynicism, but also that it was the inspiration for this post. Bonus, another what if was crossed off my list: Dr. Goodyear .

I’m going to keep wearing my scarlet H; I’ll continue to recognize that person staring back at me from the mirror and know that my prince will come bearing a stitch ripper vs. glass slippers (my Chucks Taylors are more comfortable anyway).

 

 

 

 March 27, 2014 Respect the Thorn

Line Of Fire

Junip – Line Of Fire

What would you do
If it all came back to you
Each crest of each wave
Bright as lightning
What would you say
If you had to leave today
Leave everything behind
Even though for once you’re shining

Standing on higher ground
But when you hear the sounds
You realise it’s just a whim
And you notice it matters
Who and what you let under your skin

If put to the test
Would you step back from the line of fire
Hold everything back
All emotions and desires

Convince yourself to be someone else
And hold back from the world
Your lack of confidence
What you choose to believe in
Dictates your rise or your fall
Dictates your rise or your fall

With no one else around you
No one to understand you
No one to hear your calls
Look through all your dark corners
When you’re backed up against the wall
Step back from the line of fire

What would you do
If it all came back to you
Each crest of each wave
Bright as lightning

I’d do the same as you would
do the same as you
do the same as you
do the same as you
I’d do the same as you would
do the same as you
do the same as you
What you choose to believe in
Dictates your rise or your fall

With no one else around you
No one to understand you
No one to hear your calls
Look through all your dark corners
When you’re backed up against the wall
Step back from the line of fire
Step back from the line of fire
Step back from the line of fire
Step back from the line of fire
Step back from the line of fire
Step back from the line of fire
Step back from the line of fire
Step back from the line of fire
Oh

Step back

Step back

Step back

 March 24, 2014 Music for the Soul